I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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