what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
