So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
