my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize