I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize