Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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