love makes seman taste better
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
