dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
