omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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