and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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