Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
