Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
