Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize