the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
