My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize