dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
