god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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