Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
