So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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