how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
