btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
