bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
