Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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