Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
