Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is Oprah even human
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
