Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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