I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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