hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
