PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
