She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize