just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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