Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This house was built for laser tag.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
