did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
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I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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