you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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