I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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