But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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