Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
