: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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