i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
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she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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