I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
God I need to hump something, right now.
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