Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize