So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have demons in me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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