the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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