I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
