nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
