hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
