You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
