i don't like sucking hair
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
