Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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