Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
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Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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