we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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