The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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