How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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