me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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