I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
