I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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