We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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